recreationalcannibalism:

the-adequate-gatsby:

stultifyandstupefy:

derpes:

And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”

And Abraham replied, “What.”

God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.

And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”

To which they responded, “Gay.” 

And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.

(via deresbabyh)

writtenreadspoken:

schnickledooger:

writer-on-fireee:

I am a reader. I am a writer. People assume I do these things to escape. You couldn’t be more right. I’m escaping a world I don’t like. A world I have no control in. In this world, I am nothing. I am a color, a height, a weight, a number. But in the world of books and writing, I am amazing. I am powerful. I am different. People are better. Worlds are endless. Change is possible. Life is manageable.

image

Perfect.

(Source: writingfromyheart, via mypatronusisyou)

 489742
17 Feb 14 at 6 pm

mypatronusisyou:

elegantpaws:

nikkisshadetree:

duchessofdeviance:

sgolitz:

ctron164:

truecrimehothouse:

God damn yeah.

JUST FUCKING WOW !!!

http://www.upi.com/Top_News/World-News/2013/12/19/Pedophile-arrested-after-burglar-finds-child-pornography/UPI-83701387468290/

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2011/10/06/burglars-stumble-upon-mans-child-porn-stash-turn-him-in/

A criminal reporting a another crime. I’ve seen it all.

i have no words.

Dude, if you’ll notice, most criminals do NOT like child molesters. Chile molesters get fucked up in prisons. This does not surprise me.

Because he is a thug for a living does not make him a sicko…merely um not socially in tune with the right profession lolol.

wait so this happened multiple times??? because those are different stories in different places omg

this just shows that you can still follow your morals even if you don’t follow the law.

(Source: thedeathmerchant)

mypatronusisyou:

elegantpaws:

nikkisshadetree:

duchessofdeviance:

sgolitz:

ctron164:

truecrimehothouse:

God damn yeah.

JUST FUCKING WOW !!!
http://www.upi.com/Top_News/World-News/2013/12/19/Pedophile-arrested-after-burglar-finds-child-pornography/UPI-83701387468290/
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2011/10/06/burglars-stumble-upon-mans-child-porn-stash-turn-him-in/

A criminal reporting a another crime. I’ve seen it all.

i have no words.

Dude, if you’ll notice, most criminals do NOT like child molesters. Chile molesters get fucked up in prisons. This does not surprise me.

Because he is a thug for a living does not make him a sicko…merely um not socially in tune with the right profession lolol.

wait so this happened multiple times??? because those are different stories in different places omg
this just shows that you can still follow your morals even if you don’t follow the law.

weavemunchers:

imagine if your fridge did what you do to it everyday, every half hour goes to your room opens the door and stares at you for 5 minutes then leaves

(via mypatronusisyou)

 604696
17 Feb 14 at 3 pm

hey-nnister:

helioscentrifuge:

SHOTS FIRED

Damn that turned innocent to calling out sexism real fast

(Source: ourdrunkitchen, via karenandthababes)

lalondes:

[walks around with an entire big mac in my mouth but never actually biting down] It’s a metaphor, see: you put the killing thing right between your teeth, but you don’t give it the power to do its killing.

(via karenandthababes)

 11
12 Feb 14 at 7 pm

(Source: extravagantsam)

 14362
12 Feb 14 at 7 pm

(Source: amysantiaago)

 554
09 Jan 14 at 3 pm
tags: poetry 

Phil Kaye & Sarah Kay // Origin Story

Sarah Kay: It started with a sweater.
Phil Kaye: I was looking incredibly fly. First day of college orientation as a freshman... plus, I'm the type of guy who's always trying to make a good impression.
Sarah: He looked like a tool. And it's the first week of school, so I've got people to meet and things to try. I don't have time to waste on this guy loitering backstage at a talent show.
Phil: It started with a freshman talent show, a chance to showcase what I know about spoken word and poetry and try and get some people to notice me.
Sarah: It started with a technical difficulty -
Phil: some sort of delay -
Sarah: somebody's iPod track wouldn't play.
Phil: So I'm stuck waiting backstage when I notice this girl -
Sarah: and he walks over, stupid sweater and all. There was nowhere to run, backstage was too small.
Phil: And I'm so nervous about going onstage, I decide to strike up a conversation.
Sarah: Oh, sorry, I completely got ahead of myself. I totally skipped introductions. My name is Sarah Kay.
Phil: My name is Phil Kaye. I'm from California -
Sarah: born and raised in NYC.
Phil: Let's see, fun fact about me -
Both: My mom is Japanese and my dad is Jewish.
Sarah: Not a common combination, but I think it's kinda cute. People call me Japajew -
Phil: Jewpanese -
Sarah: Ashkenazi kamikaze.
Phil: And come December -
Both: Hanukkah and Christmas!
Sarah: Plus, you should taste my mother's brisket. Jan has matzah ball soup with noodles...brings my father Jeffrey to his knees.
Phil: It took mom and dad to raise this lanky, cock-eyed, half-breed.
Sarah: Well, I think that's it. My mom, my dad, and me - oh, plus my little brother. He's eighteen.
Phil: My little sister is a deadpan firecracker. She's only eighteen, but she keeps me on track. Her name is Sarah.
Sarah: My little brother's name is Phillip.
Both: Anyway.
Sarah: Where was I?
Phil: It started with a backstage interaction.
Sarah: No, it started with a backward first impression.
Phil: Okay, well, I'll tell you where it didn't start. It didn't start at fifth grade summer camp.
Sarah: That's true, it did not start at junior lifeguards. Even though we were both there.
Phil: Matching red bathing suits, white t-shirts, visors, and our counsellor -
Both: Mr. Johnson.
Sarah: Who probably figured that the shy girl in his morning class -
Phil: and the skinny kid in his afternoon class -
Both: were... cousins?!
Sarah: Probably thought we carpooled over together -
Phil: in between family photoshoots and fourth of July barbecues.
Sarah: But instead, we merely co-existed -
Phil: almost met but always missed it -
Sarah: spinning around like two sides of a coin.
Phil: Look!
Both: We've done the research!
Sarah: And we swear, we're not related.
Phil: And we've never dated.
Both: And we're never... EVER... going to.
Phil: Because what are the chances of finding someone with your last name -
Sarah: Japanese and Jewish with siblings called the same?
Phil: What are the odds of finding someone -
Sarah: who can finish your sentences -
Phil: who will let you cut in line -
Sarah: who knows not to just lend a hand, or an ear when you need them to give you their spine -
Phil: who is woman enough to be best man at your wedding -
Sarah: who will keep every secret, save every letter, tell you how you really look -
Phil: who will remember every single one of your birthdays -
Sarah: without checking Facebook?
Phil: What are the odds of finding someone who knows your poetry by heart -
Sarah: who won't freak out if you're hanging out and accidentally fart?
Phil: Yeah. If you have a date and you need to look fresh, I will let you borrow my hair products.
Sarah: And if you don't have a date and you need to look fresh, I will let you borrow... my cousin.
Phil: I will always see you for the alley-oop.
Sarah: I will always save you a seat.
Phil: I will always pick you to be my partner even though you are terrible at handball.
Sarah: When the fire takes all you have, my home will be your home.
Phil: When you are old and can no longer remember my face, I will meet you for the first time again and again.
Sarah: When they make fun of your accent, I will take you swimming because we all sound the same underwater.
Phil: When Ellis Island tries to erase your past, I will call you by your real name.
Sarah: When they call your number for the draft, I will enlist to fight beside you.
Phil: And I will march with you from Selma to Montgomery and back as many times as it takes.
Sarah: We will stand together against the hoses and the dogs -
Both: because it didn't start with us.
Phil: It started with Lennon and McCartney.
Sarah: It started with Thelma and Louise.
Phil: It started with Winnie-the-Pooh and Christopher Robin.
Sarah: Bert and Ernie!
Phil: Abbott and Costello!
Sarah: Rosencrantz and Guildenstern!
Phil: Mario and Luigi!
Sarah: Watson and Sherlock!
Phil: Pikachu and Charizard! And they could tell you what a miracle this is.
Sarah: They could tell you how rare this is.
Phil: But they could tell you how rare friendship always is.
Sarah: The chances are slim.
Phil: The cards are always stacked against you, the odds are always low.
Both: But I have seen the best of you, and the worst of you, and I choose both.
Phil: I want to share every single one of your sunshines and save some for later.
Sarah: I will tuck them into my pockets so I can give them back to you when the rains fall hard.
Both: Friend -
Phil: I want to be the mirror that reminds you to love yourself.
Sarah: I want to be air in your lungs that reminds you to breathe easy.
Phil: When the walls come down -
Sarah: when the thunder rumbles -
Both: when nobody else is home, hold my hand -
Phil: and I promise -
Both: I won't let go.

cryingbloodviolently:

tescosfinest:

i’m using Internet Explorer, i hope this posts quickly. happy new year 2011

its awesome because the longer this post circulates the funnier it will get

(via kimyas)

 128612
24 Nov 13 at 7 pm

kaymurph:

"wear something… black"

(via 87daysbefore)

kaymurph:

"wear something… black"